I recently saw a post on Pinterest about the things no one tells you about being pre-med until after your journey is done. This post got me thinking and made me want to write a blog post about it myself.
So here it goes...
I first realized my passion for medicine and the medical field as a little kid. However, it was not until my senior year of high school, while applying to colleges, that I made the decision to make my dreams a reality. I decided when I went to college that I would major in biology and that I would be a pre-med. I did not question my ability to do it, I did not think about the level of difficulty, I did not know what the MCAT was or what the medical school application process entailed. Truthfully my biggest concern was taking chemistry since I was so bad at the course my sophomore year of high school. Little did I know chemistry was the least of my problems.
I had absolutely no idea what I was truly getting myself into.
I remember sitting in my dorm room watching video after video on YouTube about "how to get into medical school", "how to become a doctor", "what do I need to do as a pre-med", “how to get a 4.0 GPA” etc. These videos, while helpful, still neglected to touch on the self-doubt, the pressure, and the isolation that I would soon feel, and that I would continue to feel as my journey went on. The videos did not explain how to deal with these feelings and because they weren't topics that were addressed, I didn’t know these feelings were normal.
Now, I must set the disclaimer that I am in no way writing this post to deter anyone from being pre-med. I truly believe that if someone wants to start this journey then they should. This journey I am on is not something I would change or undo because it has been amazing, but it has not been easy and there have been many hiccups along the way. Being a pre-med has taught me so much about myself, who I want to become, and what my passions are.
I want to share the not so pretty truths about being pre-med. I wish there would have been someone to tell me these things when I began my journey. Not to give me a chance to reconsider but rather to prepare me for the difficulty ahead. The difficulty does not just lay in the pre-req courses or in the dredful MCAT.
It would have been nice to know that the feelings of doubt, isolation, etc. that I felt were normal and that I wasn’t feeling them simply because “I wasn’t cut out for the life of being pre-med.”
First is the feeling of self-doubt that you will feel constantly. This was an aspect I started to feel just weeks into my first year while taking general chemistry and general biology. I remember crying on the phone with my mom after my first chemistry exam and telling her that I wasn’t sure if I was cut out for this. I thought because I didn’t get an A that I wasn’t smart enough and had already ruined my chances. At this point I wanted to throw in the towel and give up. Obviously, that didn’t happen, and I am very thankful it didn’t but something that shocked me was the fact that the feeling never really went away. Yes, I have had plenty of moments where I felt smart and capable but there are still moments, to this day, that I find myself doubting my capabilities. Right now, I am studying for the MCAT (the medical college admissions test) and the feelings of self-doubt I have felt since August of 2020 pop into my head constantly. Every time I can't understand a topic or can't memorize a specific anki card I think in my head “well maybe I am just not meant for this.” Self-doubt is normal, especially if you are a pre-med student but it is important to not let those feelings consume you. This is something I actively work on each day. Something that helps me is talking to family and friends when I feel like I am not capable or writing down my feelings in a journal. Don't keep the feelings bottled up and don't let them get in your way.
Second, is the pressure you feel from advisors, professors, family in some cases, and from yourself (especially if you are a Type A perfectionist like me.) The pressures first came to my attention when I learned what “weed-out” classes were and what the goals of these classes were.... They aimed to get rid of the students who couldn’t handle the journey of being pre-med. Since starting college, I have known so many people who have changed from pre-med to something else... and it is totally okay to change your path, but it can be intimidating to slowly see less and less people in each of your science courses at the beginning of each semester. I remember the pre-med advisor at the university telling us all on the first day of class that “more than half of you will be gone before this semester/year are over.” This statement struck fear inside of my eighteen-year-old brain and it is fear that continues to follow me. This pressure you feel to succeed can be a driving and motivational force, but it can also be detrimental. I am someone who fears failure but without failing we would never learn anything. Take this pressure, wherever it stems from, and move forward. Fall, get back up, fall again, and move forward down the path that will get you where you want to be. Don’t try to eliminate these pressures.... because unfortunately that can't be done but learn to not let them knock you down so far you can't get back up.
Third is isolation, and this is the aspect that shocked me most. I wasn’t shocked at the fact that I had to spend a lot of time alone studying but I was shocked that the isolation affected me. Being an introvert, I did not expect things like studying alone or turning down invites to affect me at all. I am someone who doesn’t mind being alone and honestly, I don’t love going out and doing things that “normal” college students do. I keep a small and close circle, that is more family than anything, so I did not expect to feel isolated the way I have. The isolation started to get to me when it came to family activities and to spending time with my close friends. One time I was at the library studying when my grandma called and asked if I wanted to paint/carve pumpkins with her and my little brother. Of course, I wanted to, but I had to study... the story of my life. Now, I ended up studying and then heading to my grandma's after to paint my pumpkin but initially I felt sad that I had to study instead of just heading to her house right when she called. It's in moments like these that I must prioritize my studies and learn how to balance life, family, and friends with my studies. While I am a firm believer that my school comes first at times, I am also a believer that breaks and balance are ESSENTIAL.
Even with the doubt, pressure, and isolation I wouldn’t change my decision of being pre-med and I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. To those of you who are pre-meds or to those of you who feel these things in another area of life don’t let the doubt, pressure, and isolation stop/scare you. Please understand that these feelings are NORMAL and that you can achieve your dreams if you put in the work.
If you read all the way to the end; thank you.
I love you all and am forever grateful for the support,
Chasadea
Don’t forget to follow me over on Instagram @chasadea.premed and on Tik Tok @chasadea
Here is the pinterest post that inspired this all : https://www.pinterest.com/pin/761108405792832082/
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